


The Ballad of Gay Hannibal

by KonaRaque



Category: Grand Theft Auto III, Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Gen, Rory's Story Cubes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-12
Updated: 2015-05-12
Packaged: 2018-03-30 04:19:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3922639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KonaRaque/pseuds/KonaRaque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Disclaimer: There are a great many Grand Theft Auto III references in this story. You can understand it without knowing them though.</p>
    </blockquote>





	The Ballad of Gay Hannibal

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AGlassRoseNeverFades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AGlassRoseNeverFades/gifts).



> Disclaimer: There are a great many Grand Theft Auto III references in this story. You can understand it without knowing them though.

Hannibal stood in his new office overlooking the elevated train in Portland. He just finished moving the rest of his office boxes upstairs and was resting in his desk chair. I had just exited the bathroom in the back of his new office waiting area. When I walked into his office, I remember thinking that he wasn’t sweating in the slightest. The man had just moved furniture up so many flights of stairs, but he doesn’t surprise me much anymore. His books were in boxes littering the entire floor. As I entered the room, I could see his face twitch a little. Was it a smile? Those were getting less rare by the day.

“Will, would you mind calling home to see if the rest of our things have arrived?”

“She just called. It’s all there. I said she could wait a few hours and we would be home to help, but you know she is more likely to have most of it set up how she likes it before we get half way across Staunton Island.”

“Of course she will. I think we should pick up something fresh for our first dinner in our new home.” Hannibal loved to cook, and no one would say no to a meal prepared by his expert hands. “First however, we should finish setting up the office.”

*

After we finished putting his books on the shelf, we left the office and dropped off the Yankee at the moving place. We picked up our Sentinel and headed toward the bridge.

We may have been tired from a full day of moving, but I wasn’t shocked at how much energy Hannibal still had. On the way to the bridge, someone in a souped-up Stallion ran the light as we were almost into the intersection. Hannibal looked at me and raised his eyebrow. I smiled and turned back to follow the Stallion. Our Sentinel may not have been as fast as my company Kuruma, but thanks to my training, we caught up to him.

He was pulling into a parking lot near the water with a few other Stallions waiting for him. He climbed out of his car and walked up to the group of guys in a circle near the edge of the water. The sun had been down for a few minutes at this point and I turned off the headlights a while back. I parked the car near the driveway.

“These must be the Diablos,” I said. “We should wait for them to disperse before we grab him.” I turned around just in time to see the door swing slowly closed. Hannibal was already walking toward the men. “Damn him.”

I jumped out of the car and switched through my guns. Bazooka seemed over-kill, AK seemed like a good idea, but I didn’t want too much attention because we had just moved there and I wasn’t sure where all of the stars were around the city. I settled on the silenced pistol and followed him up to behind one of the Diablos’ Stallions. He reached the circle silently, but not unnoticed. They all turned to face him.

“You” he said, pointing at the last man to enter the group. “You will say goodnight to these men and leave with me.” The men looked at each other confusedly, but did nothing. “If you do not comply, I will be forced to drag you from here, and I want that even less than you do.” Hannibal hated dragging bodies across asphalt. It left tar and dirt on the skin that just wouldn’t come off.

Just then, an eighth man walked toward the group; from behind Hannibal. The bullet that dropped him went unseen by everyone, but the man was visible to the group. I may not be as good as Clarice, but I didn’t miss, so I consider it a win. The Diablos didn’t look as though they agreed with me. They all grabbed their guns and pointed them at Hannibal. A mistake that they didn’t have time to regret. The few lights around them were dim or not working and after a few tries I got the brightest one. As soon as it went out, the gun shots started. The only weapon Hannibal ever used was a kitchen knife, and even in the dark, he was quite precise with it.

The fight only lasted a minute as my eyes adjusted to the darkness that seemed to flow out of the parking lot. The gunfire stopped and I heard sobbing from one of the men who crawled on his back away from the psychopathic psychiatrist walking toward him. I walked into the lot and helped Hannibal pick up the living man under the arm and walk him toward our car. The sound of a door opening drew my attention to a Stallion parked just far enough away from the rest that I hadn’t noticed it. A large Hispanic man with his arm covered in tattoos had climbed out of the car and was walking toward us.

“You motha-fuckas better give me a damn good reason not to kill you right now.”

“This man disrespected my friend and me,” Hannibal said. “If you get back into your car, we will do the same and you may leave.” The man laughed and brought the shotgun he had been carrying to eye-level.

“You may be funny, but those men were running my new collectible donkey memorabilia. I was meeting them for location details. So unless that man you are carrying knows where my stuff is, you aren’t going to leave here alive.” We looked at each other and looked at the man we were carrying. He seemed too terrified to speak.

“Would you be so kind as to tell this man where his memorabilia is?” Hannibal asked.

“If I tell you,” our hostage asked the man, “will you get me out of here?”

“Of course,” the man said. “I treat my men with respect.”

“The triads stole it. They ambushed the Rumpo and threw us out.”

“Oh. Well in that case you brought this on yourself. You let my stuff get stolen by the same people who took it last time. Fuck you, you little shit. You may take him with my blessing, the little bastard.”

As the large man walked back to his car, our hostage tried to break free of our grip. Hannibal cut his ankles at the tendon and he fell to ground screaming.

“The things I deal with for fresh meat.” Hannibal and I pick the man back up and dragged him to the car. I covered the back seat in a plastic tarp to keep too much blood from getting on the upholstery. Hannibal lightly lay the man’s body on the tarp. He had passed out from blood loss as I put the tarp in the seat. Hannibal had placed tourniquets on his legs to stave off exsanguination. The Stallion left the parking lot slowly and turned down the road back towards Hepburn Heights.

*

We reached the Callahan Bridge with surprisingly little traffic and we were home in about an hour. I pulled the car into the garage and turned off the engine.

“The truck looked empty. I knew she wouldn’t wait for us.”

“That will leave me more time to prepare dinner.”

At that moment, Clarice opened the inner door to the house. She walked over to the car and saw the man lying in the back seat. “That’s what took so long. She was starting to get worried you had been in an accident or something. Well, you two should get cleaned up while I take him downstairs.”

“Thank you,” I said. ”I really need a shower. He doesn’t though. The man never seems to sweat.”

“I should put my clothes in the wash though and get changed. I have gotten them dirty,” Hannibal said. “I am too out of practice. Seven men should not have been so difficult.”

We helped Clarice get the man out of the car and she carried him to the basement. I went up to take a shower. The house looked great. They had done a good job setting up without us. When I was finished, I got dressed and went downstairs. Hannibal must have changed quickly, because I could already smell something. I walked into the kitchen and saw him seasoning a few steak cuts. His music was filling the house like it always did when he was in his cooking zone. I kissed him and grabbed three beers from the icebox.

“Dinner will be ready in an hour, so don’t have any more of those.”

“I won’t. We are going to watch the news until food is done.”

I walked by and kissed him again. I walked into the living room and handed Clarice a beer before setting the other two on the coffee table. I turned the TV on and switched it to the news. There was some story about Callahan Bridge being shut down for its annual week long shutdown period. The same with Porter Tunnel.

“That is going to make Hannibal’s drive to work more complicated.” I turned around to see Mischa straightening her shirt. She came around the couch, picked up her beer, and sat down in the chair across from Clarice. “He will have to take a boat or something.”

“We will have to get one for regular travel, especially if this is an annual thing,” said Clarice. “When is dinner gonna be finished? I could eat kibble I’m so hungry.”

I smiled. “He said an hour. He likes for everything to be perfect.”

Mischa sipped her beer. “I think it is. Everything is perfect just like this.”

**Author's Note:**

> MISCHA! Surprised?


End file.
